Thursday, November 28, 2002
check out evil monito magazine, a self-appointed publication hell-bent on deconstructing pop culture. (james, i hope it all means a little more to you now.) my jury--yes, all twelve personalities trapped in this little head, and there is rarely ever a consensus--is still out on the quality of their journalism, but at the very least it's a visually stimulating website. Wednesday, November 27, 2002
pictures from the marie claire article are temporarily available at mel's website. reggie is jealous because she think this makes me the person of the month for the second time, and she's only been it once. it's okay, reggie. mel still loves you. just not as much as she loves me. (geez. that was probably the most self-deluded statement i've ever posted. damn those twinkies and their mind-numbing effects!) Monday, November 25, 2002
i don't know how proud i am to admit this, but if someone sees an asian guy in the "average joe" article in the january issue of marie claire that resembles me, that's because it is me. (it's due out on newsstands late this week, though i hear subscribers should have gotten it in the mail already.) i have no clue what i look like or what the article says, and that frightens me. apparently this is my 15 minutes, but i have no clue whether it'll be for fame or infamy. p.s. it was supposed to say "sense of irony" instead of "ironic". Thursday, November 21, 2002
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
five big lebowski quotes i say too often: "also, dude, 'chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature. 'asian-american', please" ~ walter "deos mio, man" ~ jesus "this is not vietnam; there are rules here!" ~ walter "i'm not mr. lebowski; you're mr. lebowski. i'm the dude. so that's what you call me. that, or duder, his dudeness, or el duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing." ~ the dude "i am the walrus. i am the walrus." ~ donny
women of the world, i have found him, the PERFECT BOYFRIEND! (ahem! not for myself, silly! i'm doing this as a public service announcement for all you ladies.) his name is john tang, and here is a cute song that you can right-clik and save about why he is the perfect boyfriend, with the lyrics here. (yeah, i realize it's funnier if you know john tang, but it's still a cool song.) ~ written and performed by lee chung, who will one day be a rockstar that remembers the little people. Sunday, November 17, 2002
did people always ascribe so much meaning to sung words, or is it a more recent neuroses? or does it just seem less dignified because pop music doesn’t have the same gravity as “the classics”, the whole highbrow versus lowbrow debate. whatever. when we have full university professors who studying nothing but cereal boxes, when abba becomes broadway, you have to concede some level of conflation between high and lowbrow, if not a complete dismissal of there being a difference at all. yup, our modern day equivalent of “welcome to the globe theater!” is “i’d like to welcome you all to the eminem show.” all that just to absolve my sin of latching on to a pop song as a source of comfort, meaning, empathy, and strength. these are the lyrics that have ousted cher’s “song for the lonely” as my current mental background music. see, I do believe anger is offset by sorrow but you destroy today you might regret tomorrow when you're young and defensive it comes off offensive and it's hard to repay the tolerance that you borrowed the lasting relationship sinks right off the pier who wears the pants; it's faded but clear ~ soul asylum, "we 3", and the horses they rode in on. it also appeared in chasing amy during the ending credits. the rest of the lyrics can be found here. Saturday, November 16, 2002
it wasn't for the theater scene. it wasn't because bars close at 4am. and it sure as hell wasn't for the museums. this is why i loved new york -- from reggie's site: Email from L to J, W and R: By the way, this past weekend, I hung out with manboo and his boston friends in Houston. This one girl told us this story about a person she knew whose name was...PORN YOUWATCHIT. (I'm sure that's not how it was spelled, but pronounced out loud, that's what it said). She/he was Thai. R: oh no, they really called her porn? no nickname? L: That WAS her nickname. R: what?? her real name was pornography youwatchit? W chimes in: why. why. why L: Yes, yes it was. It was some long Thai name.. Like Pornakongahuzyquwilxkgfhdchjfislfidh. You know how many Thai names are really really long. R: well, i think she should have gone with the "kongahuzyquwilxkgfhdchjfislfidh" part of Pornakongahuzyquwilxkgfhdchjfislfidh as her nickname. L: LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! (Jelly's doing his eggroll laugh right now) J: I think i'm experiencing multiple eggrolls!!! (Rare for a guy) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!! Friday, November 15, 2002
i’ve figures out what good morning miami’s thing is, and i’m embarrassed to say i kind of like it. (sorry it took me a while. after the flatness of episode 1, i didn’t give it another try until last week.) it’s about near romantic misses, about taking you to the brink of rapture just to laugh in your face, a world where everybody has the knife of unrequited love stuck between their shoulder blades while fate just twists and turns the handle, chuckling at your miserable existence. the pain! the agony! the idea that people out there might be just as messed up and hopelessly romantic as myself! it’s not that funny despite the will & grace creators, and more often than not the show makes me want to cry rather than laugh. but you know what? that hurt makes room for my empathy. it’s a place where i get to say, “yeah, i totally know what you’re feeling, and it sucks. it tastes so much worse than orange juice right after brushing your teeth, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it! and if no one else, at least a tv show understand how i feel.” the only problem is how long can you realistically run with this theme? a season, a season and a half, tops? the lack of anything coming to fruition will eventually frustrate the hell out of people. after a few more shows of this, i know i’ll be yelling “just move on, dammit!” or at least mel would yell something like that. now scrubs, that’s a funny show! Thursday, November 14, 2002
joke of the day, thanks to the short, fat, pudgy, chinese ninja An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?” Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.”   mommy, is that you??? Wednesday, November 13, 2002
Ambiguity in relationships, on the other hand, can be maddening. As one friend of mine remarked, "Relationships? At Yale? I don't know if I've ever had one." The worst part is that girls and guys are ambiguous at completely different times. The big turning point is always the ill-fated hookup. It's true that women know within the first five minutes of meeting a man whether they are going to hook up with him or not. But the trick is to never let the guy in on her little secret. Female ambiguity is the pre-hookup chase, O.J. style. She may be driving a white Bronco, and yes, maybe she's speeding a little, but you have the entire LAPD behind her, sirens and all, and you STILL don't know whether she's going to stop and smell your -- roses. Women don't want the guy to know he'll be hooking up until he's actually doing it. But soon enough, the power dynamic -- and the source of ambiguity -- are flipped. Post-hookup is when guys tend to get ambiguous. It's their payback. Do they want to hook up again? Dunno. Do they want to date? Dunno. Are they straight? Dunno. Name? Dunno. They really don't know very much. AT ALL. ~ natalie krinksy, "ambiguity: it might screw you over, it might not", yale daily news. Friday, November 08, 2002
a verse from taylor mali's poem "spillchecker, or the impotance of proofreading": So do yourself a favor, And follow these two pisces of advice: One, there is no prostitute for scareful editing, And three, when it comes to proofreading, The red penis your friend. taylor has also appeared on hbo's def poetry, hosted by mos def and produced by russell simmons. check out more taylor mali at his website, and support a teacher of ten years as he makes a difference. andrea's getting married!
"My country, right or wrong" is a thing that no patriot would think of saying, except in a desperate case. It is like saying "My mother,
drunk or sober." ~ G.K. Chesterton, "The Defendant" (i can't help but think of regina's future children. but they'll have the coolest mom on the block.) Thursday, November 07, 2002
correct me if i’m wrong, but the michelin man is the mascot for a tire manufacturer, no? so if one was to ask what exactly the michelin man is made out of, i’d guess those fat rolls all over his body are actually tires. except for the fact that he’s white. he’s an entire body of white tires. if he really is a man made of tires (and not stapled leftover fragments of the stay puff marshmallow man, as some have supposed) shouldn’t he be black? sure, there are such things as whitewall tires, but the part of the tire showing on his body should still be black. you know what this means, right? michelin knew they couldn’t have a black mascot, so rather than be factual and accurate with their cartoon rendering, they decided to side with the marketers who wanted White America (“i could be one of your kids!”) to empathize with a white character. as the angry asian man would say, “that’s racist!”  Tuesday, November 05, 2002
 this casket design has brought me unforeseen amounts of laughter. thanks be to the people at white light for yet another wonderful contribution to the world of religious kitsch!  Vincent Laforet Johnny Knoxville, the star of "Jackass the Movie," at La Grenouille restaurant in Manhattan. At a recent interview, he sipped a 1999 Baron'arques. He folded his napkin on his lap. He chose the correct fork. ~ as reported by the NYT also, i've fixed the link to my october 28th posting. if you still have trouble seeing it, let me know by clicking on "daddy needs a new pair of flip-flops!" in the links banner above. Saturday, November 02, 2002
roommate 1: asian-americans tend to be over-represented in the professional world. though there are some professions where asian-americans are under-represented. like law. roommate 2: right. and like the porn industry. how many asian-american males do you seen in porn movies? |
