Monday, March 31, 2003
"You know the world is off tilt when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
~ Charles Barkley
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
"livin' la vida loca is a pretty catchy tune. that song was around for a while. that song was like the puerto rican whoop! there it is."
~ chris rock
Sunday, March 23, 2003
re: celine dion's "celine in las vegas: opening night live"
CBS is promoting this "special once in a lifetime event" by referring to celine as "the most astonishing singer of our time". this planet is crazy. not only do we have world war iii in the middle east; a mystery virus in asia; famine and hiv/aids in africa; france, germany, and russia all on the same side in europe; and a crazy man in a tractor in washington dc, but now celine is being touted as "the most astonishing singer of our time." repent, for the end is near.
#8 on www.business2.com's 101 dumbest moments in business in 2002:
In October, employees at a floundering car plant in Romania announce that they've arrived at a method to erase the company's $20 million debt: Donate their sperm and give the proceeds to their employer. One report estimates that each employee would have to, er, donate to the cause 400 times. "[Management] told us to come up with a solution," says a union spokesperson. "Now we've found one that even the best economists never thought of."
roommate's response upon hearing this solution to avert insolvency: "so...that'll take like a year, right? less?"
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
this is just weird:
"The story goes that a 20-pound carp about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner began speaking in Hebrew, shouting apocalyptic warnings and claiming to be the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died. Many people here believe that it was God revealing himself that day to two fish cutters in the fish market, Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker Luis Nivelo, a 30-year-old Ecuadorean immigrant. Some people say the story is as credible as the Bible's account of the burning bush. Others compare it to a U.F.O. sighting. But the story rapidly spread around the world from this town about 30 miles northwest of Manhattan, first through word of mouth, then through the Jewish press."
~ "fish talks, town buzzes", new york times
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
listening to nas "i can" while driving....
I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard it)
I'll be where I wanna be (I'll be where I wanna be)
Be, be, 'fore we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys
JQ: did he just say 'never poor chinese'?
JY: um...i think he said 'porch MONkeys.'
JQ: okay, so maybe i'm a little sensitive.
Friday, March 07, 2003
'Recent history offers plenty of examples of civil war, ethnic strife and genocidal violence, but none of them apparently suited the purposes of the folks who made "Tears of the Sun." Instead, the filmmakers chose to invent their own third-world conflict, and rather than follow the time-honored Hollywood tradition of confecting some wholly fictitious San Something-or-other or Whereverstan, they decided to plunge the actual nation of Nigeria into bloody chaos.... Unfortunately, the movie's real setting is a sentimental fantasy world, and its story is a spectacularly incoherent exercise in geopolitical wish fulfillment.'
~ a.o. scott, "americans atoning for african slaughters", new york times.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
from my friend's public health lecture:
“everyone has fecal material on their hands. if you take a square of toilet paper and put it up to the light, you see that the fibers are about 20 microns apart. If you think about it, each fecal coliform is about 1.2 microns in diameter. therefore, even with the folding and layering of 3-4 squares, when you put them to your backside and mash that fecal puddy we call feces, you’re undoubtedly getting fecal coliforms on you hands.”
i'm sorry, but the term fecal puddy makes me giggle.