Thursday, January 30, 2003
you know you're in new york when:
your doorman is russian, your grocer is korean, your deli man is israeli, your building super is italian, your laundry guy is chinese, your favorite bartender is irish, your favorite diner owner is greek, the watch seller on your corner is senegalese, your last cabbie was pakistani, your newsstand guy is indian and your favorite falafel guy is egyptian.
~ NYT forum
God bless america!
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
today i did what was possibly the most out of character thing iíve done in a long time. i started brazilian jiu jitsu lessons. not only does this officially qualify as exercise, but this is hard exercise. that hurts. lots. in honor of this very strange new project of mine, two top-five lists.
top five reasons not to take brazilian jiu jitsu:
1. i have to spend the first couple of months getting my ass whooped. over and over again.
2. i potentially run into the problem of outgrowing my diesel shirts.
3. i have to spend most of my time wrapping my legs around another man.
4. the rest of the time i end up having the other man wrapping his legs around me.
5. mat burn.
top five reasons to take brazilian jiu jitsu:
1. i get to spend most of my time wrapping my legs around another man.
2. the rest of the time i end up having the other man wrapping his legs around me.
3. after the first couple of months, my bad ass status will (hopefully) starts a steep climb.
4. diesel shirts come in larger sizes.
5. wounds heal. chicks dig scars. glory lasts forever.
between getting my ass kicked, playing poker, and lovin' the Lord, i should have my hands full for the balance of the semester.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
final exam: done.
what i've done since: on friday night i watched the yao and shaq match-up. i know, associating me with anything sporty is like mixing brown shoes with a black belt. but i did it, and i drank a 40 oz. of busch beer, too. ghetto fab to the max! then, at 5.30am, my roommate and i decided to walk on the charles river. though i'm known to suffer from delusions of grandeur, i don't have a jesus complex. the river is frozen over. and because it was frozen, we thought it'd be a neat idea to see what it'd take to crack the ice. for the record, we can confidently say that a cinderblock thrown over the edge of a bridge (call it 30 feet above the water) won't necessary do the trick. there is currently a 40 pound trapezoidal piece of concrete sitting in (on?) the middle of the charles. we had brief pangs of guilt for polluting nature, but after doing some quick estimates on the cleanliness of the river versus the cinderblock, we decided we were actually improving the relative purity of the charles. after going to bed around 9am--and waking up at 5pm--we did plenty of nothing much for the remainder of the day. and just to make sure we didnít waste the day, we decided at 1.30am that itíd be a good idea to go gambling at mohegan sun. we played poker and blackjack until noon on sunday (itís amazing how many people actually wake up to gamble at 9am!), drove back to boston, brushed our teeth and went straight to church. it reminds me of the time augie and i left manhattan to go to atlantic city at midnight, gambled until 7am, took the bus back to the city, showered, and went straight to church. except this time i'm up $100.
Monday, January 13, 2003
heaven save us from whatever happened to poor christina! hell hath no fury like what she must feel towards her hairdresser and stylist. child, you just go on wit' your bad self. i mean it; you go on and get the hell out of here, and don't be coming back asking for nothing else, you and your skanky ho ass all getting "dirrty" and what not. sista, you must be touched in the head! and whatever touched your head to make your hair look like that--you'd best keep that REAL far away from the rest of us.
to see the rest of the list: 25 Sexiest Women...and Seven Who Scare Us!
Sunday, January 12, 2003
MLB suspended john rocker for his racist comments. maybe the NBA should ask shaq for a more sincere apology or face similar discipline. just an idea. emails to the NBA can be sent at http://www.nba.com/email_us/letters_to_nba.html.
"God's will alone matters, not my personal wants or needs. When I played tennis, I never prayed for victory in a match. I will not pray now to be cured."
~ arthur ashe
Saturday, January 11, 2003
please read "shaq gets a pass on racist comments" on alex's site re: shaq's taunting of yao ming and the media's double standard in treating racism. trent lott was tarred and feathered by every form of media available. the media has waited for almost a month to start giving shaq's comments any kind of coverage.
'The folks who will bankroll the courses [high school courses financed through $85 million of the recent $1.4 billion settlement between the SEC and 11 Wall Street brokerages] are the same ones the students will have to pay commissions to should the lessons about investing sink in. That's right -- the very companies whose malfeasance contributed to the need for formal instruction on how not to be duped by such malfeasance will soon be sponsoring classes for minors on money management.
'These days, when a person has been naughty in America on a truly massive and profitable scale, the punishment, more often than not, is to be forced to educate the victims -- particularly the young, potential victims -- in how to avoid being victimized down the line, thereby making it their fault if they are. (And in the process limiting one's legal liability.) Thus do tobacco companies run antismoking campaigns, brewers stand up for responsible drinking and casinos warn against compulsive gambling. This system has a certain devilish symmetry and deserves to be more widely applied, perhaps. Instead of rotting away in penitentiaries or lying around unproductively at home hobbled by electronic ankle bracelets, sex offenders should maybe get booths in kindergartens where they can tantalize 5-year-olds with Hershey's bars and, if the trusting tots extend their hands, slap pamphlets about molestation into their palms.'
~ walter kirn, "teach them well", new york times magazine, 12 january 2003.
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
i am so drooling over the new 12" and 17" powerbooks!
also, check out the new apple advertisement here.
Monday, January 06, 2003
the weather channel is going reality TV; read the cnn article here. it's going up against the king of queens and fear factor for the monday primetime spot. god bless those wacky (if delusional and fantastically misled) marketing people who really think the public will turn to the weather channel for a "show"! then again, the stupidity of the average citizen never ceases to amaze me.
Sunday, January 05, 2003
'Glorious indeed is the texture of a brand-new year, bringing new perspective and new karmic spankings and a fresh sense of hope and possibility, which will of course almost immediately be trampled into idealistic dust by an overwhelming sense of imminent crushing war-thick GOP-molested dread.'
~mark morford, 'resolutions for the damned for 2003', www.sfgate.com
on a semi-related note, i just found out about the rumor that ashcroft thinks calico cats are a sign of the devil.