Tuesday, December 31, 2002
oh snaps! for all my ghetto fabulous peeps (jelly and ms. thang easily top that list), you've got to check out mr. bling, "the online source for quality caps". it's time to get me some platinum with ice!  Monday, December 30, 2002
from e! online's fashion police: "who looks fine--and who should be fined."  Marching Orders: Faith Hill tries to strike up the band at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas but has no luck. No wonder, looking at this combo: a disastrous red and black military jacket, white mid-calf skirt with a droopy chiffon ruffle, silver hoop earrings, a jangle of silver necklaces and clunky ankle-strap heels. All that's missing is a white glove. Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
'In an overextended age, the extended family Christmas appears to be shrinking. For many, the holiday is no longer the Norman Rockwell gathering around the tree, the roast, the carols. Single sons and daughters in their 20's and 30's are telling their parents they will not be home for Christmas; grandparents are saying you cannot count on me. The singles say they have tired of the rituals and the retreat into childhood roles that inevitably happens when everyone returns to the family fold. With the Medicare set more active, many grandparents have other ideas about how to spend the holiday. And parents say they do not want to haul children and gifts for the whole family over the river and through the woods, or worse, through O'Hare International Airport.' ~ kate zernike, 'home for christmas? you can't count on them', new york times, 12.23.2002. one more reason why chicago, as a city, sucks ass.
"Having said clearly that it is no longer possible to speak innocently, [the ironist] will nonetheless have said what he wanted to say."
~ Umberto Eco 'We live in an age that has lost faith in itself. It is naive to care, gauche to be sincere, and downright suspicious to believe in a better tomorrow. But underneath your cool indifference you probably do care, although you distrust these feelings and you're ashamed to reveal them. Instead, you protect yourself with irony. Irony lets you off the hook and distances you from what you love. But irony also helps you negotiate your faithlessness. When you believe in something but also believe it's foolish to believe in anything, your only honest option is irony. It's how you pay lip service to your nihilism but also vaguely point beyond it. 'To have faith today, you must at once affirm your faith and also ironically observe all that makes faith impossible. With one hand you must admit that it's all been done before, that everything is relative, that there's no ground for authenticity, and that every claim to truth is suspect. With the other hand you must stake your claim with all your heart. In a faithless age irony is the only way to take yourself seriously, and the only way to show others that you distrust yourself enough for them to trust you. 'Irony is the only way I can take myself seriously.' ~ brother void, having the faith to be ironic, salon.com.
highlights from salon’s nothing personal readers' choice awards: the continuously cooing celebrity couple you suspect will unceremoniously part ways in the year ahead, and what will precipitate the split: penelope cruz and tom cruise: as the months pass, he begins to suspect that she is not 'steeeel learning eeenglieesh,' she's just dumb. the celebrity you most suspect of pulling a winona ryder and landing on the wrong side of the law in the coming year -- and what he/she will stand accused of: vanilla ice will be accused of trying to steal an additional 15 minutes of fame. the celebrities you think will hook up to make unlikely yet strangely compelling duos in the upcoming year: adam sandler and lucy liu will team up for 'my big fat jewish-chinese wedding’. Tuesday, December 17, 2002
reviews of rob schneider's the hot chick: "Deep down, I realized the harsh reality of my situation: I would leave the theater with a lower I.Q. than when I had entered." ~ blake french, filmcritic.com "I will say this for the film -- it's in color. And, it was mostly in focus. And I really can't say anymore for it beyond that." ~ richard roeper, ebert&roeper
'But, seriously, the entire 87-minute duration of “Scooby-Doo” may as well be entitled “Jar-Jar Binks: The Movie.”' ~ collin souter, epinions.com  me and "my peeps" are stumped. someone please enlighten us to the difference. e-mail me if you have some answers.  what is that a picture of? it's an inflatable church. go to www.inflatablechurch.com for details on how to have a church wherever you want for your wedding.
'The king of recent Christian nonfiction is an obscure figure from, as the Los Angeles Times puts it, "one of the dullest sections of the Old Testament." In the Book of Chronicles, a man named Jabez utters a one-sentence prayer: "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." God grants the prayer, and that's the last we hear of Jabez. Not much to work with, but Atlanta preacher Bruce Wilkinson made it the centerpiece of a book. "God really does have unclaimed blessings waiting for you, my friend," Wilkinson writes in "The Prayer of Jabez"--but "if you didn't ask Him for a blessing yesterday, you didn't get all that you were supposed to have." Be sure to ask extravagantly: "For you, nothing but God's fullest blessing will do." Don't worry about coming across as selfish, for this is "exactly the kind of request our Father longs to hear." Routinely utter the Jabez prayer and "you will be so overwhelmed with God's graciousness that tears will stream down your face." You may even find yourself telling God, "It's too much! Hold some of Your blessings back!"' ~ stephen bates, the jesus market. this is what i call WTF Theology, because i don't know where the fuck he came up with this theological drivel. honestly, i should read the book before i bash it, but this reeked with such an offensive stink that I had to say something—and that something is WTF?!? God, forgive him for he knows not what he does. but if he does know how, then i kind of hope you smite him for it. (bad joe! very bad!) Friday, December 13, 2002
highlights from generation x: tales for an accelerated culture as I read it for the sixth time. a shout out and a thank you to Crazy Girl for buying it for me so many years ago. “Under a fusillade of popping kernels, Claire raises her voice: “I’m not going to harp on about this, Dag, but cliché or doomed as her impulse for self-betterment may be, you just can’t mock it. You of all people. Good Lord. You should understand what it means to try and get rid of all the crap in your life. But Elvissa’s gone one further than you, now, hasn’t she? She’s at the next level. You’re hanging on still, even though your job-job and the big city are gone—hanging on to your car and your cigarettes and your long distance phone calls and the cocktails and the attitude. You still want contral. What she’s doing is no sillier than your going into a monastery, and Lord knows we’ve listened to your talk about that enough times.” could that passage speak to me any more directly??? Personality Tithe: A price paid for becoming a couple; previously amusing human beings become boring: “Thanks for inviting us, but Noreen and I are going to look at flatware catalogs tonight. Afterward we’re going to watch the shopping channel.” to my couple friends out there: oh honey, not you; you’re perfection.
highlights from the over the rhine concert i went to tonight: this next song was written while we were on tour on the u.k. outside manchester. a true story, i was on the road a couple months back when i called home and talk to my 15-year-old son. recently, he’s taken to anything british, especially british music. and of his favorite british groups, which one does he love the most except that beatles wannabe group, oasis. and i don’t know if you caught the vh1 behind the music on oasis, but it’s impossible to understand anything they say. i mean their accent was so thick that vh1 actually used subtitles when they spoke. so i’m talking to my son, and he tells me that he just got back from the oasis concert, that he was like four feet from the stage and that it was bloody great. so i asked him, “could you understand anything they were saying?” and he pauses for a second, thinks, and says, “well, i understood ‘fuck’.” i think that’s it. our cultural glue consists of rocking guitar rifts, and “fuck”. ~ bill mallonee, formerly of vigilantes of love, who will also be one of the speakers in the arts track at the intervarsity graduate and professional conference in atlanta over new years. i love christians who know how to use profanity. they really have a special place in my heart. so we’ve been told that a lot of our fans get engaged during or immediately after one of our shows—two just on this tour in the last few months. and we’re really happy that you guys made us part of such an important day in y’all’s life. and in honor of that, just in case there are any of you soon-to-be-engaged folks out there, i’d like to pass on a little bit of advice that my mama told me. first, when you cook, cook with love. whatever it is you cook, and whoever it is that does the cooking, always cook with love. so if you’re cooking wieners, cook ‘em with love. and secondly, if you fight, always fight naked. the odds are you’ll probably forget what it was you were fighting over. it’s a win-win situation. ~ karin bergquist of over the rhine. you know, i've never fought naked before, but all of a sudden, it just makes so much more sense. why didn't i ever think of that? on a slightly separate note, i rented the entire third season of sex and the city, and i'm donig a mini marathon for myself. i guess it's the next best thing to actually dating. and the upsides of living vicariously is (a) you can turn it off when you want to turn it off, and (b) no long lasting heartache. plus, SATC actually asks some interesting questions, even if i'm not female and in my early 30's. (well, at least i'm not in my early 30's, depending on who you talk to.) i've done fifteen episodes in just over 29 hours. unfortunately, watching carrie smoke makes me remember that smoking was actually fun. we'll see how much longer this two and a half month nicotine hiatus will last. Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Donaldson was given $1 million in salary in 2000, along with a $6 million bonus, $5.6 million in restricted stock and $50,000 in all other compensation, Aetna's proxy showed. At the SEC, he will be paid a salary of $138,200. ~ bloomberg article Monday, December 09, 2002
highlights from last night's dinner conversation. the names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the guilty). ross: would you rather be a porn star or your spouse be a porn star? chandler (said without any hesitation): i would much rather be the porn star! phoebe: me, too. because how awful would it be to know that your spouse was a porn star? joey: but isn't that kind of a selfish answer, because you're wishing the harder situation on your spouse? ross: *and* you get to be a porn star!!! joey: you've already thought about this question before, haven't you? chandler: yeah. it sounds like you and rachel have already decided you'll break into the porn industry if you guys get into financial troubles. Saturday, December 07, 2002
In his 23 months as the nation's 72nd Treasury chief, O'Neill, a self-described straight talker, generated criticism that the Bush administration lacked economic leadership. He faced frequent calls for his resignation and his relationship with Wall Street deteriorated after he suggested the U.S. didn't follow a strong dollar policy and told traders he could learn their jobs in a few weeks. ~ bloomberg article about o'neill's resignation If his problem was incompetence, or if what he said was simply untrue, O'Neill wouldn't be all that interesting. But for the most part, the stuff O'Neill has said that has gotten him into trouble is not only true but intentional. If the man is able to put his foot in his mouth every day, it's only because he is stretching every night to keep limber. When he tells journalists that Brazilian politicians are corrupt, or that the U.S. doesn't have a strong dollar policy he does so because a) it is true and b) he sees no good purpose in people believing otherwise. The world would be a little better off without the conceit that the U.S. government directly manipulates the value of the dollar, or that Brazilian politicians aren't skimming off the top. ~ michael lewis, "why does everyone want paul o'neill fired?", from www.bloomberg.com, august 28, 2002 so basically o'neill was hated and eventually forced out because he was a little too honest? Friday, December 06, 2002
thanks to my "average joe" interview in january’s issue of marie claire, telling the world I’m a virgin, the “journalist” who did that piece has asked for my help in finding people for her next project: “virgin in the city: what it’s like to be a virgin in today’s dating scene.” she’s looking for five female virgins to answer questions like: 1. do you tell the guys you're dating that you're a virgin? if so, how? 2. are guys turned off or turned on? 3. do you do "everything but" or are most things off limits? 4. how do guys react to that? she knows that it can be a sensitive subject, so will be very accommodating. that said, she'd also like the interviewee to be as open and honest as possible. marie claire would prefer the person to be in the new york city area, but they might be willing to fly people in. the article will have first name, age (preferably 25 or older, but they’re willing to consider people as young as 22), and occupation, and they plan to have a photo shoot with clothes, hair, and make up, etc., all the fun stuff that women and gay men like. if you or someone you know wants to be part of this, please let me know, and i can get you in touch with her. she wants to have her list compiled by the 17th of december, just to give you an idea of her deadline. i had fun doing it, despite the pictures making me look like a 14 year old. and it’s a chance to have your 15 minutes of fame in marie claire magazine. Thursday, December 05, 2002
The outrageous rider stuck onto the end of the Homeland Security bill provides security for [Eli] Lilly from suits filed by the families of autistic children who believe that their kids' condition is linked to Thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative made by Lilly that used to be a common ingredient in childhood vaccines.... Any politician who has waxed lyrical about "accountability" and "transparency" -- that includes you, Mr. President -- owes it to the public to demand that Congress get to the bottom of just whose directive it was to insert into the Homeland Security bill a provision that has absolutely nothing to do with homeland security. And to find out whether the $1.6 million that Lilly contributed in the last election cycle -- 79 percent of which went to Republicans -- had anything to do with the inclusion of this designer provision. And, come to think of it, whether these donations had anything to do with the Bush administration asking a federal claims court to block public access to documents unearthed in over a thousand Thimerosal-related lawsuits. ~arianna huffington, "washington's hottest whodunit". just one more reason why to hate pharmaceutical companies and most republicans. Tuesday, December 03, 2002
This is the reality. If your beautiful bundle of adorable mewling diaper-clad genius baby cannot lift its head up off the floor as it flounders around on its tummy, bumping into the furniture and eating stray lintballs and annoying the dog, it is all over. Your child will clearly not learn to crawl early enough and will doubtlessly grow up to become a monosyllabic encephalitic drug-addict transsexual dental fetishist premature ejaculator, shunned by his peers and never able get into an overrated college you can't really afford. Very sorry. Similarly -- but yet completely different -- if you are obnoxiously rich and live in Manhattan and your tot doesn't get into one of the ultra-elite Upper East Side preschools at 15K a year by way of Daddy pulling illegal favors with his company's stock price so his crony CEO pal will put in a good word with the school board, well, you might as well just give up. Because clearly your epically spoiled children will most certainly not get into the right grade school or middle school or high school and then Princeton and Harvard will just snicker and sneer and tear up your applications, laughing and pointing at your tiny genitalia and humiliating your family honor and your status at the country club for all eternity. And of course said kids will likely not become overprivileged corporate drones or the proper kind of Xanax-popping upper-class automatons and will be forced to attend, like, UCLA, and will surely grow up to worship drummers and screw Charlie Sheen. Shudder. ~ mark marford, www.sfgate.com, "We Want To Own Tummy Time": Of silly infant-stimulation crazes, $15,000 preschools and the sad, deluded parents who worship them |
